The Mirror -
Confession to my "Self"

... but I was naked
and I recognized it,
and dressed again
with the garment
of mortal limitedness -
for a new journey,
for a new attempt.

A strong fuss suddenly tore me
from the area of the "Now"
into the tissue of the "Tomorrow",
right into the center of illusions about the future -
which was built form the fears about my limitedness.
And I lost the sight of YOU.

I searched for you
and got tangled up in the tensed wires,
woven from the fear of the new.
I became torn into the fight
between the "Now" and "Then".

In this mirror I saw my fatal error
and turned to walk back.
But an undreamt suction grasped me
and withdrew me
further, until I reached my "Yesterday".

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1. Poetry: Karma - Memory
2. Poetry-Summary

The center of my universe within YOU
- an abandoned "Me",
and You within the center of my universe.

And I still feel guilty -
that I could not be for you, what you wished -
that the borders between us became blurred -
that I wandered around in the center of "You"
as you wandered around in the center of "Me"

Butterflies in my stomach.
Chains between my breast.
Sore memories of the past...
... into the future?
A loved face -
Don't vanish!

Connected with strong bonds
woven from the material of the past.
Present refined
admits no longer the past.

Luck - experienced together -
moments of untarnished love -
softly touched by memories.
A smile scurries the relaxed face.

Thoughts brood,
puffs up to ballads of illusions,
freeze moments of memory to painful eternities.
Powerlessness in the security-obscured mind.
Thousands of deaths dying in the transience
of Existence.

Sorrows - suffered together,
emerge from the ocean of the memories,
fight desperately for continuance.
Unfulfilled smoldering longings stream inside, demanding for chilling deliverance.

The picture wants to fade.
The first rays of light find their way
to the grieving nature.
Though thoughts steer the sense
with saddened gaze
to the painful wound.

Moments of consciousness
release the gaze into a higher truth,
bloom with luck of inner freedom.
Love can flow!
- Moments -

Don't cling
- enjoy the moment
and grow with it.
The sense is the experience -
not the dreams...

Take the past for what it "can" be
and - not - what it "should" be
in your selfish mind

Living the moment
dissolved from pictures
and emotions of the past.

A Relieved heart
and a clear mind
certainly lead you
by the hand...

© Regina Franziska Rau
Tuesday, August 25th, 1998
Lockwisch - Baltic Sea

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1. Poetry: Karma - Memory
2. Poetry-Summary

Who are you?

When I saw you the first time,
I found a mighty suction in my breast,
which pulled me to you.

When we embraced each other the first time,
I found a mighty suction in my lap,
which drove me to you.

When we met deeply for the first time,
I found a mighty suction inside myself,
which tore me to you.

The suction was mighty like a fuss,
which admitted no other direction.
It looked like a "Black Hole",
that devours everything - even the light -
- to appear again somewhere...
...in a new order, with a new sense
            where?

There was the notion of a gate -
groping for it in the dark,
though I rotated in a circle!
Maybe I was not yet prepared to meet the truth.

I hovered in space like an unborn fetus,
weightless like an astronaut at the umbilical cord -
and sought for the exit
            where?

And sought for the entrance
            where?

I sensed you - although I could not see!
I spoke it -
it were, as if two souls kissed.
Hardly, I had spoken it,
then suddenly, I found myself alone,
felt embarrassed, because I didn't find you in that depth.

We raced further, helplessly through the tunnel
of entanglements, mistakes, confusions.
We loved each others picture,
failed to reach each others heart.
We didn't understand the sense of our actions,
didn't understand the sense of our words.
Tighter and tighter our breath was laced.

At least I dived again
into the ocean of the gone-by feelngs,
finally prepared, to meet the truth of the past.

And suddenly, my inner gaze cleared up -
vague only, as in dawning twilight,
but bright enough to see.

Our bodies were embraced
in deep and tender passion.
In weep-filled kisses
we finally met again.
We suspected a long common trip
in that endless turning wheel.

After the long, mute pain -
this has been the reconciliation
of the desperate fight about understanding the darkness
and the powerless entanglements in that agonizing history.

We had met again - to finally forgive each other.
We had found each other - to dissolve in love from anxiety.
We had been located - to liberate from the "chains" finally
- to set each other free.

I love you

Now it is as if I had to die thousand deaths once again.
Once again falling into the depths of my unconsciousness.
Once again burning in the fires of passion.
Once again drowning in the ocean of confused feelings...

Once again, grieving about an unmourned past,
granting the unexperienced and glooming fury in the stomach.
Once again living the dying memory
- in the serenity of a calm contemplation.
Forgiving the unforgiven experiences with the "You" and "Me"
I love you

It is only the fear,
the fear from the new...
the fear from the light...

I let the demons of illusional dreams die,
let the pictures of bygone pains and sorrows go,
let the dried up tangles of emotions burn down,
let the paralyzing mountains of fear flush away.

... Only the fear dies...

Diving into the creation,
swinging at the trapeze without protection
dancing on the rope without a net.

The first attempt, to use the new-discovered wings.
Diving into the sea of the fundamental heavens - - on strong wings of confidence and trust...

© Regina Franziska Rau
Wednesday, August 26th, 1998
Lockwisch - Baltic Sea

Applet by Fabio Ciucci:     http://www.anfyteam.com
Painting © Regina Franziska Rau

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1. Poetry: Karma - Memory
2. Poetry-Summary

Jumping Off

Standing on the uncertain continent
of a known past
Caught in the attempt,
to capture vivid and colorful moments,
und wieder und wieder zu wiederholen -
to be repeated again and again, -
until they get dull... and collect dust...
until they wither to life- and colorless pictures.

Dusty and anxiously freezing in the uncertainty -
worries the petted little soul
And beneath the mighty river quietly flows
its reputations yet unheard -
and yet unseen its strength.

Once again I look into the mighty fuss behind me,
I stop breathing - as to escape the suction before me.
In the reelinng fraud of the certainty I realize,
that the past blows away.

Once again I feel the anxiety of my heart
of the liberation...


... and...
in the courage of despair
I dive into the silent floods of the mighty river,
that always streams forewards
but never looks back.

The Present receives me in a wonderful drift,
I am welcome -
- what a surprise!

I sense an undreamt releasing security,
which appears to me now so addly familiar.

Love flows through me,
and dwells my heart completely.

© Regina Franziska Rau
Fryday, November 6th, 1998
Tholey - Saarland

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1. Poetry: Karma - Memory
2. Poetry-Summary

© Regina Franziska Rau
Dienstag, 27.November 2001
Deggendorf - Bayrischer Wald

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1. Poetry: Karma - Memory
2. Poetry-Summary

When I left school at my hometown
I got caught in the worldly cobweb
there I stood after only 16 years
still very naively and inexperienced.

I went away - far into the distance
to be taught something by my own life.
I could look into many spaces,
but inside of myself I never stood still.

I felt never something worth it
and whatever I did, seemed always wrong.
I could not run with the herd
did never know - what I should become.

Always have I been a wanderer without a goal,
who often fell down to the ground.
Only when the years passed by it became clear,
that also my way was drawn before.

I saw hell, saw much agony
but also the bright shrine of the sky.
So many things got clearer for me -
which was always hidden to others.

What meant to be the "sky" for others
has given to me the agonies of hell.
Where others understood only hell,
I could see the hidden treasures.

The human involved in securities
creates himself and others much pain.
He feels prison whereever he stands -
because he does not go with his life.

If we do not grasp for securities,
life can give us much wisdom.
Because then we are not blocked from blind illusion -
then life can merrily flow with us...

© Regina Franziska Rau
Sunday, 30 July 2002
Icking - South Bavaria

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1. Poetry: Karma - Memory
2. Poetry-Summary

Wanderer

You may walk through space after space ,
you may touch some different times
on roads where you meet history richly
whether the Middle Ages - Third Reich
whether the Wars of the Hunns and sages of the Celts
Roman victory and defeat
Modern times here, antique times there
at the same time at the same place.

You believe, you live in the modern trend
the other ages already in far distance -
and other times long ago have vanished
Antique has yieldet recent times
Whatever you see, whereever you are
a small part of the whole is, what you see.

From the whole iceberg you surely see
only the point, which swims always above.
The part, right at the bottom exists
but we humans are strongly fixed
on what is known to our eyes,
the depth deep down is strange to us.

At the same time both is true
the things we can see - and which are invisible.
It always exists at the same place
the water and the spring.
Without root no tree will grow
both are united space to space.

We must curve down to the depth,
to understand the origin of our roots.
There is, what we considered to be "yesterday"
There are the Archaic Creatures
who led the wars, who bent the world
who rudely marched through all countries…

Not foreigners do we have to convert
to missionate and instruct.
But we have to see our own shadows
we must walk a new path.
You can consider about each and every day
and steer your chariot to new courses.

Despising yourself, hating others?
Accept yourself - and let others live!
That is the transformation,
that is, what it's meant
transformation and new beginning.
Inside yourself, in the past thrusted aside
lies the key into your future.

If everything is united "here" and "now" -
then it is time that we forgive united as one
passed injustice of passed times...
that we free each other.
The iceberg melts as if nothing would remain
dissolved in the ocean of love…

back to:
1. Poetry: Karma - Memory
2. Poetry-Summary